I listened to 𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦 𝘺𝘰𝘶 as an audiobook, and I highly recommend it to anyone who ever feels like they're not enough, or anyone who is doing 'inner child' work. I first came across Jeffrey Marsh on tiktok, and I absolutely love their content, so when I saw they had a book I had to get it.
Jeffrey, if you read this, I hope one day that you see the harm caused and that you accept that you too have some learning to do and disabled people are worthy of validating in the same was as we non-binary people are. I do not subscribe to cancel culture and in spite of the hurt caused to me, I still feel that Jeffrey contributes significantly to non-binary understanding, however, in the circumstances, I consider this review absolutely fair and measured. This decision is contrary to everything they are teaching us in this book and personally, I don’t preach what I cannot practice. We white queer and non-binary people cannot fight for our liberation and acceptance without being intersectional and also striving not to be racist or ableist.
This decision and utter disregard for the harm they are causing to some disabled folk has destroyed their credibility for me, even though they were such an important influence in my non-binary journey. I can’t tell you how shocked and disappointed I am at this level of fragility from someone advocating kindness and acceptance of each other and how to validate one another. I gave them some gentle and loving feedback by DM on Instagram having interacted with them there before. I finally listened to their book and the story was delightful, except, they used ableist language a lot, it became very jarring, specifically the word ‘dumb’. I adored their content and advocacy for non-binary folk. I’ve been following Jeffrey on Instagram for a while. Jeffrey reminds us that we are good people, and that we deserve our own unconditional love! I recommend this book to any teen who is struggling with finding themselves and loving who they are as well as any adult who is having these similar struggles as well. I especially like the segments called Hero, Heroine where they bring in the example of real life people throughout history who embraced who they are despite pressure to conform to society's standards. They provide helpful advice and insights so that we can live a life free from crippling guilt, shame, or confusion.
Jeffrey shares their own experiences to help the reader navigate the ups and downs of life, and the inner turmoil we all go through when we feel we don't fit in or haven't gotten it right. Jeffrey Marsh has written an inspiring book full of wisdom, compassion, and love! I wish I had this book when I was younger, but even in my mid 30s, I have found it to be incredibly helpful and supportive.
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